Question for tops

How would you feel about having to settle for a BJ if it is not a ‘good day to bottom’ for your bottom?

I am rarely ever spontaneously ‘ready’ and have to plan sex around my digestion and I am scared of being a disappointment to my future partner. Tbh, knowing that there are better bottoms out there keeps me from taking it further with guys I really like.

edit for clarification: If you’re exclusive with someone, how often/frequently would you ideally or at least like to actually fuck your bottom?


  1. If a top doesn’t understand not every day is gonna work for a bottom then they’re a shitty gay and need to buy themselves a fleshlight. A good top/person will know that’s a possibility sometimes, tops should be prepared even after they start penetrating that the bottom might decide it’s not the day and have to settle so don’t stress, if they do care then they probably aren’t worth it

  2. I’d totally okay with it. In fact, there are times when I prefer foreplay instead of intercourse. There are plenty of other things you can do to get him off. Personally. I’d appreciate the fact that you didn’t want the experience to be bad.

  3. Not at issue, there are plenty of ways to get each other off.

    That said, if anal becomes such a rarity as to become a special treat in a relationship, I’d definitely have a problem with that.

  4. If a top doesn’t understand the process of how to clean out a bottom and also that there’s still a chance that there will be mess even after cleaning he’s a shitty top. Literally. I’ve had tops demand me to douche before they even got me in there bed when I’ve been round the house. It’s safe to say I haven’t returned.

  5. I have no problem with this at all. Sometimes it’s even preferable when you want to just kick back and enjoy a hot wet mouth servicing your cock anyways 🙂

  6. it’s literally the fucking worst when u tell a top before hand that ur not in the mood to bottom and when u see them, they just keep talking about fucking

  7. I don’t begin to see how that would be a problem. If you’re not ready to bottom then you’re not ready. Either the top can wait or if you’re offering an alternative they can take that.

  8. Not an issue. Everyone has off days or even weeks.

    Oral or top him for that matter. Mix it up.

  9. This is a brilliant question. I’ve had IBD for years and the result is that I’m permanently loose of stool. I have to literally starve for several hours if I’m gonna bottom, or else anything too vigorous or deep is gonna unleash a firehose from hell. Fucks up the idea of spontaneity.

  10. Um, I would MUCH rather be told that it’s not a good day than face the alternative…

    It’s a butt, y’all.

  11. I’ve never ever had a top turn down a blowjob when I couldn’t or didn’t feel like anal. Most of the guys I’ve been with probably prefer a bj over sex anyways.

  12. For a hookup? No. Oral doesn’t do it for me, and that wouldn’t be what I’m looking for.

    In a relationship? Of course. Not every day is gonna be a good day to fuck. No top should treat his boyfriend like a fleshlight.

  13. If you personally need to prep to feel comfortable, then that’s fine, but don’t do it for me. I appreciate some prep work, but it literally has no effect on how hot I will get, or how much fun I will have.

    That being said, I like fucking mouths just as much as fucking asses. Open wide, and keep some Doc Johnson spray.

  14. I’m not trying to paint my dick. If you find a top that can’t understand that then he is probably into some odd shit. Pun intended

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