Question for older/experienced bottoms

I am sure a similar question has been asked on here before, but I haven’t seen it. When I first came out to my boss as a bottom (we have a weirdly close relationship), one of the first things he said to me was a comment about being careful about bottoming too much because I would become incontinent. Have any of you bottoms who have been bottoming for a long time had issues with loss of sphincter control or incontinence?

Or can you reassure me that it’s not a problem?!


  1. I’m 40. I’ve been getting fucked in the arse for 20 years now, have used large dildos and even working on being fisted.

    I’ve **never** had issues with incontinence.
    The sphincter is a muscle, it can be trained like one. I can take a cock ‘easier’ now than I did 20 years ago but have still been told I feel tight.

    Doing kegals helps both in being able to relax and keep things tight. The old idea that gay men will become incontinent just isn’t true (well anymore than plenty of people do when they get to 80-90).

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