I’m feeling a bit of confused about the current state of my sexuality

PS:I’m sorry if this isn’t the right sub for this but I’ve only posted in this sub so far and I’ve got lot of support and you guys are really cool so I’m posting this here. If it violates the rules then please delete it.

I was a straight guy turned guy who likes topping trans women turned guy who likes getting fucked by trans women turned guy who wants to try it with men but isn’t sure……the guy who loves being a submissive bottom for men.

I’m not sure how often this is the case. I feel most people here identify as gay. And I’m not a person who likes labels but these things are consuming me lately. I’ve written a lot about my past sexual experiences before. And over the last month I felt I wanted to try it with a guy. A few years back if someone said to me that I would love getting pounded in the as by another dude I would never believed it, but now I have bottomed for 4 guys in the past month.

I’m enjoying it no doubt and I love it a lot more than fucking a girl. May be I’m naturally submissive and I have become more comfortable with this fact over the last month. But I’m also feeling a bit confused. I used to discuss girls, dating etc with my friends and 80% of my life was spent thinking that I’m straight and there is no other way. But my high sex drive, porn addiction and natural submissiveness made me explore new things.

And I feel I’m alone now. Due to being from a conservative background there is no way I can share this with anyone. Today I had a call with my friend who lives in my home country and he asked how are the girls around me and in my city. And he was curious about this topic. But little he knows that I’m actually enjoying being a cumslut for men. I didn’t know how to answer that and it felt extremely weird at that moment.

I’m mostly a private person with few friends but this new discovery has made me a bit confused and anxious. Good thing is that when I’m naked with a guy these things don’t bother me at all. Just wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading.


  1. For starters, your sexuality is just what turns you on–there’s no need to compare it to others.

    Also, you are certainly not alone. MANY guys like what you do, regardless of what labels they use. You’re definitely not alone, though it may be difficult to find people to talk to, I would guess that there are people you know already, that given a safe space to talk about it, probably feel at least some of what you do. And, there are many places online, like here, where you can talk about what you feel and not feel alone.

    Your ass is designed for pleasure. Period. So, you shouldn’t feel anything but thankfulness that you derive pleasure from it (or any other part of your body).


    You can read my reply to a similar post about this here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/gaystoriesgonewild/comments/ao0qw4/my_first_real_gay_sex/](https://www.reddit.com/r/gaystoriesgonewild/comments/ao0qw4/my_first_real_gay_sex/)

  2. Depends, if you still enjoy the company of T girls, you could easily just be bi/pansexual. Or just say you’re still in the process of experimenting! There’s nothing with needing more time to find an answer.


    Don’t feel as you can’t share this with anyone, you can make new friend/acquantances that are queer or open minded. My home country (Dominican Republic) is quite conservative as well and we still have a gay scene, it’s just very insular, the same might be true in your country. If you are in a more liberal country, then the state of your country is only of minor significance for ya right now.

  3. i’m a Repressed straightish muslim dom that likes girls, tgirls, and feminine white twinks.

    I’ve not banged anyone because i still have so much religious baggage but i do keep a harem of sorts on discord where i indulge in dom, raceplay and religion play fantasies with white twinks, tgirls and sissies, and cisgirls that love having a Top connect with them and give them their deep desires.

    If you told me i would be into this stuff 10 years ago i would not have believed u.

    Things change

    And also another thing, how u feel now doesn’t have to be permanent either.

    people can be what they want to be.

  4. Firstly, it’s okay to feel confused. You’ve been trying new things that you were not used to, and that are probably not common in a conservative background. That’s okay.

    I think it can be helpful to disregard identity and focus on acts – keep experimenting, and do things that you enjoy doing. It seems like you’ve been doing this and you’ve found a few things that you enjoy – great! Don’t feel that you have to find which identity suits you ex gay bottom, bi top, queer pansexual. These identities are only modern Western concepts, and they’re not black and white. There are men who identify as straight who love it when a woman puts a finger up their bum. There are submissive bottoms that love switching to dom mode every now and then.

    This sub is very focussed on the top vs bottom identity separation. Which IMO can be a bit of a limitation if people feel their identity dictates how they must behave and what they can or cannot enjoy.

    It’s great that you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings, even if just online. It makes what you’re going through real and not “just in your head”. I personally found it extremely helpful when I shared similar thoughts with people in real life – it can be tricky with people you’ve known forever, you might consider starting with a new friend who seems open-minded. I assure you it’s the best feeling ever.

  5. You do know that having a dick in your butt has nothing to do with submissiveness, yes? Why men who enjoy having sex with men would bring that hetero misogynist bullshit into their bedroom I don’t understand. Oh I understand why people carry that baggage, I just don’t get what they like about it. If I’m fucking a man I want to think of the man I am fucking as a man, not as a man taking the woman’s role in heterosexual sex. When getting fucked by a man, I want to think of him as thinking the same way,
    and of myself as a man getting fucked by a man.
    Then too, there’s sex that isn’t buttseks.

    Point being that you should think about what turns you on and why. Maybe you have internalized that “penis inserter dominant penis insertee submissive” cultural toxin and that’s understandable but you should _think_ about just exactly it is about this or that sex act with this or that person. I mean, if you want to Max out your sex pleasure, you need to know where that pleasure comes from.

    Second, it’s not the sex act that determines whether you’re gay. Gay people are gay before they have any gay sex. I know a couple straight guys who like to get buttfucked occasionally. They are still straight. Your sexuality isnt determined by what you do not what/who you do it with, it doesn’t have much to with what’s in your pants. Your sexuality has to do with what’s in your head and heart.

    Finally, most people have a pretty well set sexual orientation – gay or mostly gay or straight or mostly straight. But some people are evenly split, enjoying sex with both sexes equally. Some people have not much set sexual orientation at all. Or maybe their orientation is all encompassing. Whatever, they are people to whom a label can be more aptly or less aptly applied; they are not the label.

    Fuck labels – do what turns you on and stop trying to fit yourself into a category. Just be you.

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