I wanna try an online relationship

So I’ve been confused about my sexuality for awhile and recently I realized that I’m gay. I’ve talked to other people on this site about it, and I’m confident I’m a bottom. I’ve never been in a gay relationship, or even told anyone outside of reddit, and the only people I talked to about it were a few messages of advice back and fourth. I think talking to someone online, as friends or more, would help me figure out how to act as a bottom. PM if ur interested in talking 🙂


  1. Please please please…. do not conflate sexual position preference (top vs bottom vs vers) with behaviour. There’s no such thing as “act like a bottom”. Act like yourself, dammit. Be genuine. Be yourself. Be real.

    Resist the urge to label yourself a bottom, when you’ve never had gay sex. You might invest all this time and effort labeling yourself a bottom, and find out you hate getting fucked. Or, you can’t (for any number of good reasons, some physical and medical). Or, you change over time. Suddenly you get a medical issue that stops you from bottoming for the rest of your life… does your behaviour need to change? (hint, no).

    If you want to broaden your exposure to gay people, then try to find local support groups, or local social groups or something like that. When I first came out, I joined a youth support group for a short while. It didn’t help much, but I *did* get to meet a few new people. Nobody I’m still in contact with, so they weren’t long term life-long friends, but they helped me find other people and new stuff, etc.

    My only strong recommendation here is to ask that you remove from your brain this notion that bottoms act a certain way, and tops act a certain way. That’s totally not true. Allow yourself to become the top/bottom/vers guy you will become by actually finding out what you prefer. Too many guys thing that just because they’re a bit feminine or soft spoken that, ‘whep, I must be a bottom’. And it’s so totally not true. And quite limiting and disastrous when they find out they can not actually BE a bottom (for a thousand good reasons).

    OK … I’ll shut up now.

  2. No such thing as “acting like a bottom”

    It just means you like to get fucked.

    I’ve met submissive tops and dominant, super masc bottoms.

    I would suggest exploring before you decide which way to go. Try topping, try bottoming, just have fun and be safe.

  3. You don’t “act like a bottom”. Bottom is a preference for sexual role not daily life. Just be who you are and enjoy the sex you want to enjoy. Also, idk many people who want to be in an “online relationship” as though it is less meaningful than an analog relationship. Your post reads like you are looking to explore your sexuality but are afraid to actually be vulnerable. Be brave.

  4. You do you. If you want to act like a bottom, I think there are plenty of people who want to act like a top online for you.

    Not everyone does. Not everyone wants to adhere to those kind of guidelines but some do.

    You might find you like it. You might find that you don’t. But don’t not do it because others think it’s dumb.

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