Help! Bf is embarrassed to clean out with me around

So I’ve been seeing my bf for a year and some change. initially, Wednesday’s and weekends were for hunching but now we only have weekends together because of our current schedules but we make it work. Typically I’ll go to his apartment Saturday after he’s prepped and we’ll bump uglies. But we’ve been wanting to see each other more so we’ve talked about me coming over on Friday sometimes.

Here’s the problem. If I come over Friday (which I would love to do) we aren’t gonna have sex that weekend because he’s embarrassed to clean out with me around and he thinks it’ll kill the romance (spoiler alert: it’s never romantic but I digress).

I’ve suggested I leave the apartment for a bit while he’s doing it. I’ve offered to clean out too in a weird form of solidarity or to ease his embarrassment but he isn’t biting. And it’s starting to irk me a bit because I feel like I have to choose between spending time together or having sex, when both could very clearly be an option. I know sex isn’t everything but I’m a mid 20s male and a former slut at the end of the day & it just feels like a hit our sex life doesn’t have to take. Going without it during the week is bad enough, idk about this.

So I’m just wondering if y’all have any suggestions to ease his embarrassment or if any of y’all have been in a similar situation & how you handled it? Bottoms, at what point (if at all) did you become comfortable enough to clean out with your boy toy chilling in the other room? Am I a selfish prick for not wanting to go that long without sex? Thank you so much in advance to anyone who read/replies this!


  1. This is just bizarre to me. I get him being shy about it; but, if you’re not in the room with him it’s just not a big deal. It’s not like he’s taking enemas while sacrificing animals to the bottom gods.

    Try to encourage him to consider it while you’re there. You can turn on loud music or something. Let’s be honest, if you’re fucking his ass you already know all about that area. He needs to be desensitized somehow.

    Good luck!

  2. I feel like your bf most of the time and I’m working on it. I usually use the second bathroom or try to turn the water on so as to reduce the noise haha

    My advice is just to be understand and leave when he needs to do the procedure without any questions askedaybe overtime jewill become.more comfortable as your relationship matures.

  3. You BF needs to accept the realities of gay sex 😂 if he had a fiber rich diet, he wouldn’t need much to be ready to bottom.

  4. I mean it can be noisy sometimes. But I mean you could suggest turning up the tv or radio while hes “having a shower”. I was this way for a little bit but I got used to it ans too desperate for his dick lol

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