coming out to my asian parents

Hey everyone, if you are reading this you are in a safe space. I just had a lot of feelings I wanted to share because APAHM and Pride month ended. I’m super grateful for you guys and all the love you’ve shown me… I got many more dms about coming out and you guys telling me that you’ve come out, or is considering coming out.

I dont think there’s any wrong or right way to do it, and there isn’t any right or wrong reaction to it… I hope that when you do feel ready that you are embraced with love by your family, and if not, your friends (which is also my family btw)

To anyone that’s going through this, i’m so proud of you! You really are so strong and so beautiful. I’m so sorry if no one has ever told you so, just know that I know you are! Every single one of you.

I’ve been so thankful and grateful to have such supportive people around me, friends, family, watchers, and even brands! However sometimes the weight of the world can be quite draining haha. Sometimes we just dont have the energy to always be explaining our existence. Thats why it’s nice to have allies to uplift us.

I hope you took something away from this! And I encourage you to step in and speak up about your experience, whether you are queer, family or friend, or an ally. I would really love to hear your story! Thank you so much for letting me share mine!

some resources

(if you have more please comment and share)

My instagram

some great acc to folllow

not sponsored but holla at me brands l0l


  1. It is really hard to come out to asian parents i mean, i'm from a catholic family and it's really hard to pretend everything's alright but you have this feeling inside you where you just wanna burst out and say it (not saying all people have this feeling) i haven't even came out to my parents cause i'm just so scared that they will disown me or hate me for being gay.

  2. Ivan, thank you for sharing. The Chinese parents of my partner (who is not out) are trying to force him to marry a woman. It is very stressful. Your video is heart-warming for me.

  3. The ironic thing is its probably easier to get a good job if you're gay. Trust me man, you have it good. It's very hard for straight Asian men to get jobs.

  4. Thank you so much for making this video. I'm a Malaysian too i totally understands how you feel when u came out to your parents. I also chose to live in Ireland now because i felt is more open and I'm being able to be myself fully. I understands it will take them a long time to accept me as a gay/queer men but i hope one day that they'll understand and be ok with it <3 Thank you for sharing Ivan i felt somehow connected to your story ^^

  5. I can't believe youtube didn't really tell me when this was uploaded! I'm so proud of you and my gosh I love your sweet gentle soul and heart, I just want to hug you all the time and like inspire you and protect that sweet squishy heart of yours. <3 You're like a cute carebear 🙂

    I don't really talk about my gender identity because it's so complex that I can't really pinpoint it with a term that explains it perfectly but it's kinda like I have both a boy and a girl sibling living in me at the same time and some days one wants to express and others the other one wants the space and for the longest time I thought I had to pick a gender so I super rejected everything "girly" about myself and was such an overcompensating tomboy to the point that I asked my friends to hit me if anything girly slipped out of me. Well, one day many years ago I had a type of coming out phonecall with my mom about "I think I might be transgender" and long story short she said she already knew and she only cares about us kids being happy. After that I ended up relaxing into it and I watched this random documentary about Shaolin monks and in one scene the monks were painting while standing on eggshells to practice softness and lightness after practicing hardness and explosiveness and that everything needs opposites to have balance. Click, I immediately knew that I had to accept both sides of me to find my balance, harmony and joy and I started to see myself as 2 siblings and tried to love both sides like they were my own kids and it turned out that I had no idea what the feminine likes and dislikes were. As I got to know the feminine me and the masculine me and let both do what they love I slowly found the genuine me. I found balance, harmony and joy.

    One "girly" thing I rejected was skincare and I'm so grateful that you helped make it less scary for me because I super love spoiling myself with skincare now.

    One thing about being inspiring is that heavy responsibility feeling of needing to help every baby bird learn to fly by carrying them on your back but people are sturdier than they think and the best way to not lose yourself into looking backwards at followers and miss out on what is happening in the now – just strive towards your own sense of accomplishment and achievement and self pride and all followers will use our legs and be right beside you all the way there and beyond. 🙂

  6. U are a strong person, and brave! I'm Malaysian and alot of my friends are les/gay, and they're friendly and awesome! Don't be ashame or shy! We're all humans, it's not a big deal anymore here. We'll support u forever, be happy!
    Cheers, from Malaysia 🤗🥳😘

  7. My mom claims she's okay with ppl being gay but whenever I mention a gay friend (especially if she's with her friends) she laughs like it's a joke. Idk how I'm gonna come out…

  8. From the first video I see, I had a feel about you have special personality. Well you will always have my support. Be yourself and live happily.

  9. HOW CAN A PERSON BE BRAVE AND TOO CUTE AT THE SAME TIME!?❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

  10. You really are a good looking young man, so why the make-up? My mate of 17 years is Vietnamese and he doesn't wear any make-up and he is just as cute as he can be, flaws and all, just like me. If you present a false front to those you want to go to bed with, it may not end up the way you want when they realize that the you under all that make-up is not what they really wanted. Your personality will sell you much more so than all that make-up. It looks like you are going to go Kabuki with that overly light concealer.

  11. The importante thing in your live are: you love with courage to live, love your self, you feeling free and safe. They make you a honestly and a beautiful person. Keep it up, the live it's gives you nice surprise. The person change and the time past and they understand the "differences", it is nothing but prejudice.😉👍 keep your strenght!

  12. Hi Ivan – your so crazy !!! I love it ! Just keep in mind – anyone who has a problem with you being gay it’s their problem not yours ! Well you seem to have a good head on your shoulders so you know that . But I want to give you my full
    Support ! You make me proud to be gay too. Btw i Need to learn your make up tricks !

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