Coming Out To Immigrant Parents

“This part of me is different…and what if it changes the way they see me…?”

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MUSIC:
“Departure” by Exist Strategy

Big thanks to Andrew, Joel, Rashmi, Sara, Vivien, Priscilla, and Noriko for sharing their stories

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38 COMMENTS

  1. I came out to my dad last july 5.
    Hes still changing.
    Hes inbetween tolerating and acceptance.
    I also came out to my mom a week after. She is tryna tell me im not gay i havent had a actual str8 relationship. My ex was cheating on me and her bf at the same time.
    Her bf found out and beat me in middle school lunch infront of everyone.

  2. it breaks my heart when I see things like this, as much as I'm happy for others it hurts to know my own mothers and fathers love is indeed conditional. I come from an Arabic family which means families are very close but surrounded with reputation pride and honor. I am a risk to all those things. what hurts is I'm close to going to college and I wanna be free then to love hug and kiss the girl I love. knowing I'll never do that unless I run away is awful. a parents happiness should never be on the count of their child's happiness.

  3. I’m the opposite person here; I was adopted and raised by white lesbians; I’m born from Kolkata New Delhi, India and I didn’t know they we’re lesbians until during my college years when I lived on campus for a couple of years!! No one in my immediate adopted family nor relatives told me I had lesbian parents growing up and plus I have 2 adopted older brothers of different races too (my brothers knew; and so did every one else BUT ME); because back then I had no I idea what homosexuality was or where it came from etc!!! Fast forward to now I still wish I had straight parents; my biological parents died I never met them nor ever saw pictures of them I HAVE NO BLOOD LINE HERE IN AMERICA (so I’m it🇮🇳🇮🇳) it’s all back in India where I’m originally born from who ever my biological parents were are when they were alive etc?? List of me knowing my originally background is endless like did I have other biological siblings relatives etc so and so forth?? People here think I should try doing a DNA test; how would that work if my real straight parents have been dead and gone not too soon after I was born; in my opinion I think it’s way too late to do a DNA test as an adult; plus I’m disabled too I cannot walk😢😢😢😢

  4. Lots of immigrants are very conservative, and yet they made this huge change to come here and deal with a very different language and culture. That doesn't prove one way or the other that they will be accepting of someone gay, but it does say they could change about one important thing. Also, being "gay" means different things throughout the world, not always how we think of it in America. Not everyone views it as the same or as a negative. And hey, many of us who were born and raised here have conservative or homophobic families too. But some of us are gay or gay-friendly too. — Be true to yourself, at least inside your own head. Be safe and find safe people and places to be, so if you need to, you can start over and have a good life. But I would hope that families and friends would be OK with their gay friends and family, and would help the instead of reject them. I get it. I never felt I could talk to my parents about being gay, and I still think that was true. I wish so much they would have been accepting or let me know if they were. So take care of yourselves out there. We need you. Someone needs you and would love to know you, as a friend or as someone special. I would have loved if some friend had found a way to let me know it was OK, or if he liked me. So know that there are folks like that or like me out there who would be glad for you to be who you are. Not everyone is homophobic. Some of us are friendly. Some of us are gay too.

  5. So basically what I got from this video is that immigrants tend to be more homophobic because they don’t come from places of western values and principles therefore it’s harder for children of said immigrants to come out to their parents since they are less accepting? Yeah those sound like people I want living in my country 😪🤦🏼‍♀️

  6. That mom at 1:33 is so cute! Just adorable! She has such a sweet little voice. 😊
    I just want give her a big bear hug.

    P.S. "Just accept it."
    Like I said, she's just so cute.

  7. Funny thing is my parents are getting divorced and I’m living with my mum currently. I am pretty sure she wouldn’t mind if I come out as a lesbian but my dad pm the other hand… I’m from Australia and the LGBTQ+ marriage vote happened kinda recently and he voted no. I don’t think I’ll come out to him unless he asks or anything but yeah that’s my life ish bye

  8. In India it's literally like the way rashmi said it. It's still like that to most of her. And I'm scared this is what will happen to me too

  9. Im terrified to come out especially when these people told their stories. Im also scared that if I come out, my family will no longer want or love me. My dad likes making lesbian and gay jokes, that honestly crushes me..

  10. If I came out, I'll probably have to leave my house, but I don't even finished high school. I'm prepared o tell my parents and I want to but this is not the correct situation

  11. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I was planning to do exactly what Rashmi was saying – literally come to my parents like “ by the way, I’m engaged and this is my fiancée, because I’m gay. “ I’m still not planning on coming out until I’m in college, until I’m in a long term relationship, until I can feasibly walk away if my parents don’t accept me. I’m Indian too, so it’s just. What if they turn out like rashmi’s parents?

  12. It’s scary. My mom last year during the 4th of July told me she didn’t care what gender my partner was she just cared if they were a good person.

    It was my opportunity but I got scared, now I’m even more scared because I know my dad isn’t very accepting and I don’t know if my mom still feels the same.

  13. I came out to my mom on 16-5-18 and when I did that my mom did not look at me the same and I’ve been having really strong problems at home I seem fine at school because I have real friends with the bond of happiness but I have been trying to talk to my mom but it feels lonely and I have been falling into a deep hole and I’ve been losing my feeling of freedom and happiness and I’ve just wanted to leave home but it’s been hard and I just wanna leave home and all of it behind but I just feel lost from everything I’ve just been trying to find a way to fly with my happiness away from all of this but I hope in the future I can live as who I wanted to be or who I thought was me

  14. "WOW" I could feel Your Pain. It's very Sad to see Good People having to go through the ridicule from others and most of all their Families. Love is Love and Hate never wins. Be Well Friends.

  15. I'm not apart of the lgbtq+ community but I am accepting. Something all homophobic people should remember is that God is the only person who gets to judge. He loves all people no matter what. I belive that love is love and people are people. If you're reading this you're perfect no matter what. Whether you're gay or straight, black or white, or even Trans you are perfect and nobody needs to judge you.💞💕💖💓❤😊💜💟🖒

  16. I am a str8 immigrant but this reminded me of one time at costco we saw two males holding hands passing by the food court, and my dad kinda teased that they must be gay, and my mom said, people are open in my america, it's not weird to see that. I think my parents are okay with ppl being gay as long as none of our family members are gay coz we are all atheist.

  17. I'm in this place where my friends and colleagues know and it was never something I found scary, but the idea of having to come out to my family is terrifying. I honestly don't see my self ever telling them.

  18. Being Indian and being a part of the LGBTQ+ community is the worst thing anyone could wish on you. Rashmi is absolutely right. The biggest problem always is : WHAT WILL THE FAMILY THINK? I'm bi and I never thought I'd have to have this talk with my parents but I know now that I do. And I know I'll never be accepted.

  19. Even thou our mother had told you you are a bad person doesn't mean she doesn't love you anymore. You are being victims not noticing what is really happning and seeing the truth

  20. A week after I came out my mom was like u haven't been going to church for a while and she gave me bible verses, I'm not even Christian I'm agnostic (she doesn't know tho ;} ) I had to fake straightness for half a year and she literally told me I couldn't fake it ;}

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